You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
