Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
