I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
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