too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
