He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
