need another drink. this is the easiest way
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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