I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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