Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Oh god it's open bar.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
