Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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