Please don't use social media to get back at me.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
