You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
