We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
