I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Randomize
