He kissed a someone with a penis
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
