I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
