I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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