I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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