Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
