I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
