Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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