Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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