is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
