Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
is that a dick in a sweater?
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
