Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
