I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
