I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Randomize
