he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
