Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
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