I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
