I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
