at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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