Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
