Umm I'm too high to move.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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