just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
