Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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