party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
