I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
we're so committed to being not committed
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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