Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
