Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
