I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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