He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Randomize
