they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
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