i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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