you win again, gameday.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
