nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Randomize
