Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
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