I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
