I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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