"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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