If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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